Maby is now a Lappy

Meet my new buddy: my lappy whose name is Maby. LOL. :D Nah, that's not a coincidence. My sis asked me to have it named, and i did, after me. So I guess I won't be using the nick maby, it's no longer meeee (like it was ever, duh). :)

It's Compaq Presario C794TU. And it's Vista baby! :D




To avoid the hassle of bringing my old desktop unit at home all the way to LB and also because of the nature of my so-called work, I asked my sis if I can have a laptop asap, and she agreed. That was actually a big surprise.

She took me to Park Square last Saturday for lappy hunt. I originally had my eyes on the hella pretty pink Sony Vaio hahaha, but because it's way over the budget, I had to trim my choices down to two: this and the cutie Acer As2920Z.

I had a really hard time deciding which one to purchase. Presario is all black and classy, but because it's widescreen (15.4" Diagonal WXGA High-Def) and heavier (2.5 kg), the difficulty of carrying it around became an issue to me. The Acer Aspire, the other hand, is very stylish, smaller (12.1") and lighter (2.04 kg), but then I thought of how that grayish white color would turn into black in the future. LOL.

This morning, I finally made my pick. And I'm happy with it. I'm actually using it for the first time. :D

Havaianas Boo-Hoo

Saturday was a great day for me. Shopping, food, and movies (at Glorietta cinema with my sister and dvd marathon with schen and monica) galore.

Anywii, I went to makati that day for three reasons: (1) to get my money from my sister, (2) to eat some place nice (which I wasn't really able to do. Dencio's at the food court doesn't really fit my description of 'nice') and (3) to buy a pair of havs.

I've been meaning to purchase the Slim Metallic Graphite but my sister insisted on buying the HAVAIANAS MULTICOLOR LOGO PRINTS (in Black). I'm kind of a pushover, you know, so I bought it. I admit they APPEARED to be cute when i tried them on. (NOTE THE PAST TENSE).

After TWO days of use:

Just imagine how HAPPY I am!!! All Flip-Flops charged me 895php for this pair of pretentious scratchable Havaianas. Maybe there's a winning lottery number inside! Scratch away people! LOL.

Haaay. I'm so ingget tuloy kay Mon. She asked me to buy the cutie, pretty, oh so pretty Havaianas Logo Filette Silver/Rose for her that very same day. Waaaah I'm gonna buy that one too! Hahaha. AND I WILL NEVER EVER LISTEN TO MY DEAR SISTER AGAIN!

Act your age, not your shoe size

It's all about acting your age. :)

This is one of my personal faves. I looove Dakota Fanning here (loved her sa TAKEN too!). Yup, feel good movie. This reminds of how I acted as a kid, and after watching it for the nth time tonight, it reminded me of how i should act today. Hehe.

Tumatanda daw kasi ako ng paurong. :))

It's All Political

I forwarded this essay to PDI during my DEVC 11 days (because of the .25 challenge), hoping that it'd get published in YoungBlood. Well, it didn't. Anyhow, it's still fun reading old posts, especially when they're the ones you don't usually write about. :)

Of Hungry People and Tarpaulins

I was going over through several piles of last semester’s graded papers and handouts that I stored inside a box when my eyes caught the words of Victor Hugo in his book Les Miserables as quoted in one of my lecture notes:

“Hunger blinds. Hunger kills. A hungry man is a dangerous person.”

Upon reading the words, I thought of the current President and all the other Presidents in the past, as well as the so-called ‘elected rulers’ of this poverty-stricken country. A pseudo-slideshow of editorial cartoons played inside my mind: EDSA I, Estrada and his Jose Velarde accounts, EDSA II, PGMA calling Garci, Trillanes and his coup attempt, ZTE deal with Abalos and Lozada, and all the other political scandals that have been persistently overplayed in their game called dirty politics. The idea was instantaneous; it was automatic.

Then, I also thought of those hungry people; those who are so poor that, if they get lucky, they could eat a pinch of rice once a day; those who are willing to kill for food; those whose lives are overtaken by scarring desperation. In my head there are also pictures of students, of common people, screaming and protesting with their “OUST the President” tarpaulins.

These are the faces of hungry people— people hungry for money and power; people hungry for food and stability; people hungry for reform. And it appears to me that the first group causes the unfortunate ones to suffer and starve for what they really deserve.

Often times I ask myself: If I were to rule this country, if I can have the access to all of our resources, if I have the power and authority to control and manipulate other people, would I be as hungry as them [the politicians], too?

I remember my Political Science 1 Professor; he said he also asked the same question. He is well-versed in politics, and he perfectly knows how it works. He might as well become a good politician. But even he doubts himself. I can tell that, in a way, he fears giving in to the temptation. He fears losing his dispositions and instead be overwhelmed by the pressure of our political system. He fears sinking down to the level of those who once swore “to serve the people” and are now misappropriating the public’s money for their own selfish gains. He told us the story of a priest elected in a local position in one of the provinces in the South, who stepped down after several months because he couldn’t take the corruption in the local government. Does this mean that even good people with the guts and enormous level of moral strength can never survive in the world of dirty politics? Where does this leave us?

It is very much obvious that the major features of our political system are the rampant corruption and pervasive cronyism. Filipinos blame the persisting poverty and failures in governance on our corrupt leaders. Philippine elections have become no more than a “noontime show” that entertains the masses with singing politicians, and the whole political hullabaloos being created is always about who can afford the most famous artists in show business during campaigns and who can have the better and more effective political machines. Once the votes are cast, and once they are already in position, poor people can say goodbye to the promises made by elected officials.

But of all the obvious features, the fact that our state is being ruled by the elite factions coming from the same families is the scariest one. It is all in the papers and news; politics is always about people having the same last names. Government positions are being passed on like a genetic disease, and even the greed and corrupt activities happened to be both contagious.
Considering the scandals that have been popularized these past few weeks— with the anomalies in the ZTE deal, with people rallying in the streets, and PGMA trying to regain her severely bruised stand— I can’t help but think of all the times we massed up in EDSA and demand for a Philippine President to resign.

Twenty-two years had passed since Filipino people united at EDSA and people coming from different social classes and age bracket screamed for justice and freedom from the Marcos regime. EDSA 1 showed how we revolted against the opportunistic and self-serving government under the influence of the Marcos family and their cronies which eventually strengthened the spirit of democracy in our country. I wasn’t even born when it happened, but I know that we were a proud country then. People said it to be glorious. We were overwhelmed by the ostensible “people power” and we were proud for acting as one nation.

We all thought it was the beginning of a new state, that the revolution successfully achieved its goal of having this country the chance of being reborn. We all thought what happened in EDSA was already our call for “change”. But when the same thing happened almost two decades after the first revolution (and now that we’re hearing EDSA buzzes again), the meaning of EDSA 1 has seemingly transformed into a habit. EDSA Dos to me isn’t as meaningful as the first one. It seemed to me as a mere escape from a hopeless system and a proof of how weak our state is. People may have come together and fought for the same thing, but I strongly believe that EDSA Dos wouldn’t have happened if only we had a fair, immediate, and just system that could have proven the deceitful and corrupt ways of the former President Estrada. It proved how unstable our government is, that what the government cannot fix in the inside, they take it outside—right there on the streets of EDSA. We only showed to the whole world that the democracy in our country never bestowed the sovereignty among its “people” and that we only act as a “seemingly powerful nation” in times of crisis, in times of irreversible situations.

Maybe it is true that EDSA revolutions have already become a bad habit of the Filipino people. That every time we see the dirty tactics and the hunger for power of those who are in position, we tend to remember the first time we did it. We tend to repeat it, hoping that it would also mean the same thing— that it would give the people of this country what they truly deserve. Perhaps we must learn by heart the true meaning of EDSA 1. It should give us the lesson of standing for what is right and just, and the lesson of maintaining that stand; and that all of us should act as “one” because today, as we all see it, we are just making the same mistakes and we are all trying to solve it in a way that was proven to be not as “powerful” as we thought it should be. Maybe of all the things PGMA said during her entire term, she was right about one thing: “there should be no more EDSAs.”

Boo-Boooks!

Krauss' The History of Love and Kundera's Ignorance are loooves, Unbearable Lightness of Being is indeed unbearable. Gahd, I miss reading books!I've been meaning to read The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, I have a hardbound book somewhere in our room, but my busy schedule and my usual cravings for sleep hinder me from even starting the second chapter. I have to finish this one before the movie version comes out in December. And speaking of books being transformed into movies, there's Veronika Decides to Die, which I also plan to read before the year ends. Note, I'm going to read it not because I'm a Coelho fan, I just love Sarah Michelle Gellar (she'll be Veronika), hehe.Last summer I had this list of books which I planned to read during the entire break. But because I do this thing that I do, I wasn't able to accomplish that. And now comes another summer, 21st birthday is nearing (OMG), and yet another list of books to read:

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho (just because I wanna see the movie)
Man Walks into a Room by Nicole Krauss
Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt

3 AM

Ma and Pa walked me to the bus stop earlier today. I knew Pa wanted to talk to me ('bout something I opted not to share here). He insisted Ma to come; I guess he had the feeling he wouldn't be able to get sane answers from me without her around. I hadn't had enough sleep, and the thought of having another awkward conversation automatically turned me into this sullen, irrational brat. It's not that I am not a morning person, but I guess it has always been about my father's habit of bombarding me with the same questions. I chose to be silent. (Normally I would snap something like: "Bakit ba kasi tanong ng tanong?!" ...Yup, in a very irritated voice.) He gave me the same lectures; I think I memorized his lines already. Everything was the same, and I did not act any differently, either.

But there's this one point during our conversation, if you can call it that since he was the only one doing the talking, that made me want to cry and hug him. His exact words were: "Minsan pag nakikita ko kalagayan niyo ng mga ate mo, iniisip ko kung san ba kami nagkulang. Kung pinalaki ba namin kayong sunod sa layaw..."

His words cut right through me. I wanted to tell him so badly that it was never his fault. That we just grew up...we grew apart, and that we made our choices. I know I made mine, at least. Someone was silently screaming in my ear that I should tell him how I can no longer take any more pretentions and lies. How much I wanted to break free. How I am dead inside. But I chose not to speak, for I am fully aware that I'd only crush my old man's already broken heart. I chose to be silent about the things that I needed to say, about the things my father and mother deserved to hear. I love them too much to hurt them by being honest about what I really want in life. I can't tell them I have chosen a different path, the path where I couldn't serve their God.

Yes, I chose to be silent... and gently broke my parents' hearts, like I always do. I acted like I heard nothing, and felt nothing.

The bus arrived, and I walked away.

Speaking in Metaphors

This day marks the impending death of a massive star. And nothing has to, and can, be done.

Supernovae are supposed to be beautiful. Imagine a stellar explosion creating such luminous event. It is [supposed to be] beautiful. But what comes after is rather frightening, what will be left behind can tear everything apart. As they say, nothing can ever escape a black hole -- once you have crossed the horizon, it will pull you into nothingness, ripping you into pieces.

My personal black hole scares me. But nothing has to, and can, be done.

Only Life

I admit, I'm kind of a mess (academically speaking) this semester. I failed to set my priorities, so I wasn't really able to focus on my studies. I lost that will of earning high grades , and I'm back to my old self who's okay with a two-point-something average. I know I can do better, because I used (and tried) to be better. Every sem I used to set this target, for example a semestral average which shouldn't be lower than 2.0; and for the past four [consecutive] semesters, I was able to maintain that. Then, why slack off? Why now?

Because today, everything is different. I am on my own, and it's so damn hard trying to be your own hero. I don't have to explain everything here, or even explain what that last line really means. They can call it pride, or maybe I'm just being stubborn. I don't really care about what other people think anyway or if they don't understand it at all. Sakin na lang yung reasons ko. :)

I may not be able to see my name again on the bulletin board in front of CDC College Sec Office for being one of those US and CS guys, but to tell you the truth, I am okay with it. Sometimes, I admit, it stings a little. It sucks losing the courage and the will to reach "THE" target, and sometimes I do think that I failed on that aspect. But things have changed; and I chose this freedom and I chose the responsibility of taking care of myself for the reasons that some of you may not be able to understand. I chose to be a little less organized and a little more carefree and outgoing.

Let me get this straight, I'm not flunking anything; so this post is not a justification for my suffering academic life. I know some of you think that I'm sacrificing too much and I am out of my mind for giving up on my good academic record. What I do may appear to be an immature move to some, but I see myself as a much more responsible person today. I am, in a way, proud that I am able to stand up for my decisions. So, don't worry about my blooming social life (and my zero love life), or about my supposedly temporary vices and my new habit of squandering money. All I know is I need to keep my sanity. Why worry too much? Sabi nga, It's only life. I am happy this way. :)

"Take your hesitance, and your self defense,
leave them behind, it's only life,
don't be so afraid of facing every day,
just take your time, it's only life."

- Kate Voegele, It's Only Life

Horribly Beautiful

Joss Whedon seems to love tragic stories. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tara and Willow did not end up together because he killed Tara's character. Buffy and Spike also did not have their happy ending because Spike had to make the sacrifice of being burnt to death in order to save the world. In Angel (BTVS' spin-off), I heard Cornelia also died. What's so bad about happy endings, sir? Anyhow, I'm still a fan.

My sister is turning to a big Joss Whedon fan and she told me about this cute musical where Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother's legendary Barney Stinson) is the lead role. It's Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog!!!! I loove the songs too, and again, TRAGIC-ally beautiful. :)

I'm currently downloading the songs, I'll upload them later. :)

Achy Break Me

I'm scheduled for odontectomy this coming Friday. Went to dental clinic this afternoon, turned out my third molar is impacted and I'm having it removed after my Fri classes (meaning I have to fly from LB to Paranaque).

During the consultation, the dentist kept telling me "Ang ganda ng ngipin mo, ingatan mo ha", I took it as a compliment because she repeated it for like three or four times. And it was also a relief to know that I only have one third molar to be removed (others have two or four). But she blew my mind when she said odontectomy is going to cost me 8-15 thousand, depending on the agreement that I have to make with the surgeon.

I've been reading threads and I'm currently freaking out. Everybody's telling me that it's going to be really painful. Too bad, I have very low pain tolerance. I don't know how I'd handle it, but I'm really scared. According to what I've read (experiences and dentists' comments), recovery period is usually up to 2 weeks after the extraction. I'm expecting a lot of blood and man oh man, painful swelling. So don't be surprised if you see me with my "chipmunk" face and if I don't talk at all. I'm also worried about how and what I'm going to eat right after the surgery (and days after that). I don't want my housemates to adjust just because I won't be able to eat solid food well.

Another problem is that I've been suffering from this annoying cough for a week now. If it doesn't go away, I don't know how I can undergo the operation -- I fear I might cough during the procedure. That's just scary.

I just wish the surgery would go well, and not leave me with any adverse complications. (T.T)

The Lovely Bones

Just finished reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I started reading it again yesterday (as I repeatedly tried and failed to do so last semester), stopped at chapter three because I fell asleep. And finally, I'm done.

I'm giving the book three stars out of five (3/5).

The writing was pretty good. I'm not going to compare it with the other books that I love, like how well Nicole Krauss has perfectly written The History of Love or how Milan Kundera blew me away with his Ignorance. However, this book is a hundred times better than The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffeneger, which by the way is having its movie adaptation released on August 14.

The tone of the book is altogether sad (for lack of better term). And at the same time it makes you want to strangle the maniac who raped and killed the poor girl! I loved Jack Salmon's character and how the sister Lindsey struggle to break free from the Walking Dead Syndrome -- which the author described to happen when other people see the dead person [in you] and don't see you -- and at the same time mourn for the tragic death of her sister.

Why -2? Well, the long wait for the crime to be solved was a little dragging for me, got a little bored towards the end, and I didn't like the part when Susie took over Ruth's body and made love to her high school crush Ray. I was also kind of hoping for a little more action. Middle to end seemed to be all about the drama. I was anticipating Mr. Harvey to attack Lindsey (at the latter part when she was alone in the house) given that she was the one who led the police into solving the mystery of Susie's death when she broke into his house. I thought the 5!5!5! nightmares he's been having would drive him crazier than his normal self and get back at Lindsey. Yeah he tried, but I wish he tried a little bit harder, hehe. Oh well, if this had happened in the book the author wouldn't be able to establish the Icicle part in the end. To those who haven't read it yet, yeah I'm a big spoiler, boo me haha!

All in all it's a good read and I'm excited for the movie. After all, it's going to be Peter Jackson's. Mark your calendars; December 11, 2009, about a month after Veronika Decides to Die movie premier.